Part 1 here. Thank you to everyone for sharing their stories!
GiroC
Beats: How would you say your being an NSFW artist plays into your sex life and relationships now?
GiroC: I would say it kinda does, in the sense that I am sharing my drawings with my girlfriend. Also sex is kinda a hobby of mine at this point, which is also the reason I’m drawing nsfw. So… I’m sometimes drawing things I would love to do more, or helping me reminiscing of my past experiences.
I’m very open to many things. But fulfilling some kinks are harder to achieve than others. I am most of the time engaging into powerplay or BDSM relationships as the dominant figure. Being a switch, my submissive side has a harder time getting fulfilled. Which is probably the reason I’m drawing women I view as charismatic and assertive, with massive toys haha. I’d say drawing nsfw is a way to fill what I’m “lacking” in my sexual life at a specific moment.
B: Sounds like NSFW is out in the open in your relationship then. How was the first time you shared it with your partner?
GC: Considering we met on a bdsm subreddit, I must say it was quite easy haha. We mentioned everything we loved about sex, our kinks, and naturally the drawing/artsy stuff came in the discussion. I met all my gfs on kinky subreddit or libertine websites haha. So yeah, I was always very open about my tastes and hobbies
B: Hmm so since your art leans more into a less fulfilled side of things, how does your partner feel about that? Because some people might be ‘threatened’ by porn, which is particularly what I worry about personally with my own partner and hentai.
GC: That really depends on the life partner; thankfully, my life partner is very open minded and understanding. So we could talk about the wide range of each other’s taste, and she could quickly understand that she couldn’t fill all my needs, except on rare occasions (curse of being a switch; it’s hard to perform everything with a single person for various reasons you can imagine).
So she pretty much acknowledges that I need to fantasize about the tastes I rarely indulge in. My previous partner didn’t mind me meeting other people for that; my actual would rather see me drawing them. Also since we only spend a third of the time together and not living permanently with each other, I’d rather not adopt a libertine lifestyle, haha. So we’re faithful when it comes to sex, and I draw smut! I show her all my drawings, and make her participate in the process; this way she doesn’t feel that i’m pushing her away from it. (I ask what she thinks about my sketches, colors, faces, about the setting, and all that)
B: The communication sounds good!
GC: Yeah, it’s the key of everything. I’m nothing special tbh; but I noticed how sexual topics can be hard to accept. That’s the reason I tried meeting only through communities matching my tastes (fetlife, libertine apps, subreddit such as bdsmpersonals and so on) ; less choice but more chances to get someone you can easily talk to.
More seriously, getting to meet someone and creating bonds is commitment. That’s perfectly normal, nothing escapes that rule; but sexual kinks are pretty dooooown the list of things you usually start talking to people you normally meet. And I value the personality as much as sex. So when I was younger, even when I met someone who wasn’t into kinky stuff, I still stuck to her because I loved her personality and we were getting along nicely. That led to sexual frustration though, so I’d rather avoid that now. Vanilla can get boring to me, and well… as much as we read everywhere that society has never been so sexually open minded, vanilla is still the main perfume by very, very far.
B: Did you have any difficulty accepting that at first? What formed that priority of sex for you? Experiences, or through adult content, or..?
GC: I think that as far as I remember, even without internet (yeah, i only scored internet aged 15, back in the days it was so, so expensive!) and it’s share of porn, I always loved exploring my body, and thinking about it. So I don’t know the exact origins of it; some would call in an obsession, but i’d rather call it a hobby. Just like some love to play guitar or chill in front of a netflix show, I love thinking about how making my sexual encounters interesting and stimulating. I then met a dominant lady during one of my placement at work, and I realised two things: one, I wasn’t the only one who viewed sex as a cool playfield and two: it’s not only men, women can love sex too. I guess the first pegging thrust was mind liberating 
Tacinky
Beats: How does your NSFW play into your relationships?
Tacinky: I was doing a lot of work from /r/drawmensfw and started getting some private request via chat. I fulfilled them and had conversations that became a bit unprofessional and generally just got caught up with the attention.
My wife knew I was kinda into drawing nsfw, I wanted to bring her into it but didn’t really know how to bridge that shame gap. I didn’t hide anything and she saw the posts I made on reddit but didn’t tell me she knew. She look on my computer and saw these chats I had and became quite angry.
Long story short we worked it out over time but it’s still a little bit raw and I’ve started back up doing nsfw again. It’s still a hard topic of communication but she knows it’s a better outlet than a lot of long term marriages take. I just can’t put myself into an inappropriate position like I did before.
B: Humm so the issue was more with chats and overextending, rather than specifically drawing nsfw?
T: Yeah, mostly. I think part of it was that she’s got a lot of body image issues and me drawing women like that is definitely a source of tension. But she recognizes that’s not super healthy way to be and there’s some work in progress. A complicated situation that definitely has roots in drawing nsfw. I feel like I anticipated the tension and chose not to tell her about it to not hurt her feelings.
B: I definitely relate to that. I wouldn’t really bring it up in fear of my partner feeling like I was replacing them in a way. But how do you feel about drawing that kind of body type. Because some artists are fine with separating art from real life.
T: For sure. Luckily my wife wants to be the type of person who’s cool with it. I like all body types really. The more real a person looks the more inclined I’m to draw them. A lot of my dodgy communication with other women (and some men though less dodgy) was intended to be more reassuring because a few of my clients were very self conscious as well. I think it’s a universal truth of the internet culture is that everyone has these body image issue.
B: That’s super interesting that your clients have that issue. Probably because you are drawing them and it’s more realistic than hentai right?
T: Usually yes. But at the same time they get some satisfaction that makes it worth it in some way. It’s a great trust that someone needs in someone or a community to put themselves out there like that. I’d be the last one to abuse that.
B: Yeah, there’s definitely a level of trust and vulnerability in commissioning some thing like that. So what was your relationship with porn and your wife prior to her finding out about that?
T: I think a bit rocky honestly. It’s a little bit of a dead bedroom sort of thing, but not the worse I’ve heard of. She’s got some issues and I get it. I wouldn’t say it’s an totally unhealthy relationship with porn but it certainly served as an outlet for a lack in my life. This lack and the fulfillment of it definitely led to my bad actions.
I was also trying different and new dosages of antidepressants which made some things a little swingy. Drawing, especially drawing real people and seeing their reactions on the subreddit is highly addictive. It’s pretty much consumed my drawing habit but in the plus side I’ve gotten so much better drawing like a mad man for the past… 6 months now, non stop.
B: I see, sounds like a tough situation overall. With everything that’s happened.. how do you see porn and drawing nsfw fitting into your life?
T: We’ve been together for over 14 years and this was the first of these types of problems to come up. So we’ve reaffirm our support for each and have healed over time. A lot of the underlying issues still exist and are going to be really hard to get a handle on. I think I’m using porn a little bit less but I don’t really and never have enter into a place of fantasy. It’s always been a bit external when it comes to that.
I’ve started up doing nsfw stuff again and that’s going alright. I still worry about my wife’s self confidence but I need to keep that up irl, something I wasn’t doing well before. The lure of messaging other women is still admittedly strong as I still find myself lacking in some social connection. I definitely need to bite my tongue or find something adverse when I start thing that’s a good idea again. There’s a lot of weird religious shit that comes with anti-porn sort of stuff. While I think that there might be something there, I think we can still have a healthy society and relationship with its existence.
HD
Beats: Are you open about being an nsfw artist (or consuming hentai and adult content) in your relationships?
HD: Well with my gf yes, she’s well aware of my nsfw stuff. She even follows me on my twitter. But before I started this (like recently), I told a previous girl that I use to draw porn but not anymore (which at the time was true) and it seemed to off put her a bit. I guess she saw it as like a dark past sort of thing.
I would definitely tell whomever I’m dating, since I can’t keeping secrets in relationships. But I would also test the waters to see how comfortable they are like actually talking about it. Like whether it should just be a fact about me to them, or could be something I can actually converse with them on.
B: What about family?
HD: Me personally, I’m never telling anyone in my family about my nsfw works. My mother wants me to do “respectable” work, my uncle’s expressed that he believe porn should be illegal and my brother, idk I just my brother would think it’s weird and “low”.
But my friends, ahhh that couldn’t give less of a shit. A good few of them know I make nsfw. Or those that don’t I already know they wouldn’t care. There are certain friends tho I wouldn’t tell, again just cuz I know they’d think it’s weird and would look down on me for it. Generally, I think if you’re someone who likes nsfw, you can kinda feel out the folks that would also not mind it.
B: For sure. How did it go when you told your partner about it?
HD: Well I knew she was hella horny and I knew she went on twitter for porn so it was a pretty safe bet. I was like “babe I wanna draw porn” and she was like “ok, go ahead :)”. We also watch porn together.
B: What was the sort of first incident where it was brought up? Because I remember not really being comfortable with watching porn around my partner personally.
HD: Well the first time we did it, it was the blowjob tutorial cuz she didn’t know how to give head (her first time doing oral). But that was the only time we did it together. We don’t ever feel the need to watch stuff together cuz we can just fuck instead. But when I’m horny but really cannot put in the effort to dick her down in that moment, I just jerk off. She’ll just sit by the bed on her phone while I’m doing it. Idk, I never had to have any kind of serious talk about these things.
B: I get so anxious! I don’t have the best relationship with porn, and doing that makes me feel like I’m replacing my partner.
HD: Yeah I totally get what you mean. But I think it helped that I try to be as honest as possible in our relationship. When you meet someone you intend to be fruitful with, you gotta establish a complete level or honesty and transparency off the bat. It’s not something easy, but I always push myself to that standard, always.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and especially don’t be afraid to hurt your partner if it’s to discuss something necessary. I know it sounds weird, but hurt your partner with honesty, not with deception later down the line
B: How would you define necessary?
HD: If there’s something bothering you that you think could jeopardize the healthiness of the relationship, you simply cannot withhold that conversation out of fear of hurting the other person, lest you want the relationship to go toxic or end.
Ecchitrail
Beats: You said you’re open about your NSFW art, how did that start out?
Ecchitrail: Well when it came to nsfw artwork, it was me just falling into a rabbit hole. Believing that anatomy was key to good illustration. When I first picked up art I did bring my sketchbook along when in late highschool and into college. I was already used to drawing around others because of that. I had been drawing nsfw privately at the time.
This was the first one I recall drawing in public. Art board and all.
I had done one the month before as a sfw project just to test my skills. At the time I had some experience sharing some slightly nsfw art with others online. Either through things like Amino or through small groups. I did this nsfw drawing on the bus and while volunteering at my library since there wasn’t much to do.
B: As someone with social anxiety, couldn’t be me haha. Is that confidence you grew, or was it just never an issue?
E: When I did it for the first time, I was obviously anxious. But I had a bad case of inferiority complex a year or so in. But I kind of developed said confidence. Since deep down I could feel the embarrassment and a part of me did it for attention.
Since I was drawing physically, it attracted a bit of attention to people who interested. And I guess you could say it helped develop that confidence.
B: What were those moments when people were interested?
E: Firstly most were just impressed by the skill. Some asked if I did commissions which at the time I had planned but never did until way later. Some recognized the characters. Like above as Noelle from genshin. Some just found the artwork to be so cool and complicated. Really its just people wishing they were able to draw like that. When I drew a big pp, that actually got the most attention. People might have been uncomfortable, some found it hilarious, some were amazed and had to share it with their friends lol.
B: What about when it came to friends and family?
E: I had friends at the library who I showed my work to and they also see me draw as well. Later when I was employed to work there, I also did it around employees. Again mostly it was the same case of being amazed at the skill.
Family wise I had always left my computer on when studying, so the models were always visible. The connection between what was on screen and what was drawn was clear. Nude models to be exact. Not very nsfw. But nowadays my little sister sometimes catches a glance of the more lewd references whenever she comes near my display. My parents were very fine with it, since again they knew I was taking this as a career. And as they cant do much on the art side, they helped with everything that they could.
B: Taking this as a career?
E: I had dropped out of college, but took art as a major. At the time I, and to this day, have a coach. I can’t say exactly what I wanted to be then and it’s only a bit more clear now.
My parents were always enforcing education. So a coach was something they saw as taking it seriously. And yes my coach is aware I draw nsfw, I told him about that when he asked what I drew as finished illustrations. He is fine with it though, just nothing too explicit. It was the prospect of making money off of art that made my parents see art as a career. As long as it makes money and I’m happy then they don’t mind. Typical parent stuff.
Hope you liked this new format of article. Let us know what you think by commenting below!