Your Relationship With Your Art (and How It Affects Your Growth)

I was supposed to write an article about scheduling deadlines. My deadline for that was two weeks ago.

Itโ€™s sitting in my writing folder, unfinished.

The further I got from my planned deadline, the more anxious I became. The article didnโ€™t feel ready, but I was stuck on how to improve it.

Then this morning, I realized my anxiety about finishing the article was stopping me from moving forward.

So, I decided to drop it.

Sometimes, itโ€™s not just about the quality of a work, but how you as the creator feel about it. Your relationship with your art can push you to make your best work, or it can hold you back.

The Creator Connection (or why we get attached as artists)

Your art is personal to you.

We have all sorts of expectations and prejudices when it comes to what we make. To you, art might be a leisurely activity, an escape from the dayโ€™s stress. For someone else, it might be a passion.

Personally, I do art to improve. I donโ€™t think Iโ€™ll ever forget the envy of seeing my high school classmates shit out doodles. They might have been drawing all their life, or they might just have been talented enough to draw those cute chibis. Who knows?

Regardless, that is my relationship with my art. Iโ€™m proud of myself when I do something I hadnโ€™t done before, and it comes out nicely. Iโ€™m disappointed with myself when I feel my drawing could be better, even if I donโ€™t know how to do so.

Knowing your connection to your art is important so you know when to stop, or when to go. When to keep give up, or when to keep pushing. It will help you make better decisions, help you understand your choices, and ultimately help you become a better artist.

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Here are some prompts that will get you thinking about your own relationship to your art. Notice they start with why. We want to dig deep and understand our motivations and expectations when it comes to making art.  

Prompts to Help You Think About Your Art

  • Why do I compare myself to ______?
  • Why do I push myself to make art?
  • Why do I feel a certain way when making art (proud, disappointed, excited, anxious)?
  • Why am I ______ to ______?
  • Why do I shy away from ______?
  • Why do I draw ___ and not ______?
  • Why am I inspired by ________?

Iโ€™ll select some of these prompts myself and share how they influence my art-making.

Why do I compare myself to the best hentai artists?

*Best in my opinion

I often browse through Danbooru for artists to study. However, Iโ€™m very selective, choosing artists who I think are the best at what they do.

This means Iโ€™m never satisfied with my work because itโ€™s made in comparison to a better artist.

Knowing that, I try to be less harsh on myself, being proud of what I improve, while still focusing on fixing mistakes.

Handpicked for you: Struggling to find good lewd references? Here’s an article where I talk about sites I use a lot.

Why am I afraid to tell others about my NSFW art?

Your relationship with your art isnโ€™t in a bubble. Your parents, friends, and the people you look up to also influence how you see yourself as an artist.

Iโ€™m a very introverted person, always worried about what others might think of me. So, my dumbass decided to become a pp artist.

Having been in art school for two years, I noticed that I always felt the need to prove myself. As if becoming a good artist would justify my being โ€˜justโ€™ a hentai artist.

Having realized that, Iโ€™m trying to be more open about my NSFW art so I can bring more of my SFW art into it, enriching both. It’s certainly a step forward from the me two years ago.

Why do I shy away from shorter articles?

Itโ€™s a bad mindset, but to me, less means lazy. My art and writing reflect this.

If youโ€™ve been reading my blog for a while, youโ€™d notice I use 3-4 main points in each article. Seldom less than that.

And my art, well. Iโ€™ve gotten more than a few comments about how detailed it is.

Itโ€™s problematic because less detailed doesnโ€™t mean worse. Minimal works can be just as powerful as fully fleshed out ones.

This was my issue with the article on deadlines. It was shorter than expected (my outline had three main points instead of one), and so I decided not to post it.

Having come to terms with this quirk of mine, I know now to differentiate between length and minimal. Balancing quality and quantity.

Why am I inspired by hentai artists, not SFW artists?

I began my art journey drawing tiddy seven years ago, and my love for the field has only grown.  

I have nothing but respect for anyone who decides to become an NSFW artist. The daily grind, the chase of the ideal, how we push on despite the risk of being judged or banned.

Iโ€™ve had a lot of opportunities to deny myself that passion but doing so wouldโ€™ve eaten away at me and probably stopped me from doing art altogether. Now, Iโ€™m just trying my best to help other NSFW artists and become a better one myself.

Whatโ€™s Next?

As you answer the prompts (and maybe think of your own!), consider how your relationship with your art is affecting your art-making process.

Then try metacognition, or thinking about what you think.

For example, I donโ€™t think highly of my art (too unexperienced, a lot of weak areas, much to learn), to the point that people say I should be prouder of myself.

However, is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. It pushes me towards my goals, so I think itโ€™s better to keep that mindset.

On the flip side, if you see your art too positively, that might be stopping you from reaching your goals. I know a bunch of art school peers who canโ€™t seem to grow, stubbornly clinging to โ€œthatโ€™s just my styleโ€ after receiving critique.

Another good example is the workspaces of Piet Mondrian and Francis Bacon. Most artists would lie in the middle of their order/chaos. Yet who are we to say theyโ€™re wrong about how they work?

As Bacon said, โ€œthe feeling of desperation and unhappiness are more useful to an artist than the feeling of contentment, because desperation and unhappiness stretch your whole sensibility.โ€

Seems like he knew all about his relationship with his art.

Conclusion

In the end, weโ€™re doing these art relationship exercises to see if what we feel and think about our art is aligned with what we want.

As you explore that dynamic, you might be surprised to find out the unconscious motives that have been guiding your art decisions. I know I was.

Each time you feel a certain way (anxious, proud, lazy), try to think about why you’re feeling that way. Having that extra knowledge will arm you to either take action, or decide what to do next.

Good luck with your tiddy soul-searching ๐Ÿ˜Œ!

Cheers, Beats

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